The Flux of Our Feelings: Approach and Avoidance Coping
My emotions surrounding climate change are sometimes terrifyingly in my face, and other times seem far away and non-threatening. Some days I feel an urgent need to act. I read, write, research, and proselytize about climate change, I’ll be mindful about my own carbon footprint, and I’ll feel fear and despair deep in my bones. Other days I put it out of my mind and skip out on responsible action and behavior change. I’ll eat the burger, use the plastic bag, or turn the heat up too high. On these days, I’ll look out the window at the rainbows that regularly appear over the river in our small town and feel that all is okay in the world.
Why this flip-flopping? Why can’t I stay the course? I’ve learned that staring in the face of a grim future for too long eventually causes my internal stress, anxiety, and grief to become unbearable. At those times, I move away from action and avoid thoughts and fears about climate change to reduce those terrifying and morose feelings. In other words, I cover my eyes to avoid seeing the scary scenes flashing before me.
Psychologists call this “approach and avoidance coping,” and it is an unconscious way to manage distressing emotions from a perceived threat. When I’m in action mode, moving towards the threat of climate change can help to reduce my feelings of distress and anxiety through offering a sense of control and bolstering hope. “I’m doing something! I’m not part of the problem but part of the solution!” I think.
Approach coping is problem-focused coping. It is when we write letters to our representatives, buy an EV, plant a vegetable patch, or otherwise seek to address the problem of climate change through our actions. We may not be aware that we do these things primarily to manage our emotions and calm our distress, regardless of whether our actions will achieve any tangible outcome to reduce the threat. Think about it – do you really believe that your veggie patch in and of itself is going to change anything? We hope that our collective actions may lead to positive changes, but mostly we do these things to calm our own distressing emotions.
Researchers have found that people who use approach coping to respond to large-scale threats like nuclear war or climate change must first register their distressing feelings, or in other words, they must recognize and feel their feelings. At a time when we have so many ways to escape our negative feelings - food, drugs, alcohol, smart phones, entertainment, sex, shopping, and so on – too many people have only a peripheral awareness of their fears and anxieties about climate change at all, which may contribute to non-action and failures to change behaviors.
Once becoming aware of these negative emotions related to climate change – guilt, fear, sadness, regret, grief, frustration - people must be able to process them to engage in approach-style coping. But, because of the magnitude, variation and complexity of the threats from climate change, actively engaging, especially for a prolonged time, may seem beyond the capacity of many people. It’s just too hard, too depressing, too sad.
And so, some will rely on avoidance strategies to manage their feelings. The first is plain old avoidance. “I’m not going to think about this today,” or “I just can’t read that article,” or “I just don’t have it in me to show up for that meeting/march/protest.” This is perfectly normal, and you should probably just listen to yourself and realize you are doing the best that you can.
Another avoidance strategy is “psychic numbing” a common response to large scale horrific events. This strategy was recognized in studies with survivors of war and genocide. It’s easy to see how closing off and numbing feelings can be adaptive for a soldier in war, or person trying to survive a Nazi concentration camp, but it can easily apply to people encountering climate catastrophes as well. This emotional deadening also applies to huge losses where people stop being able to see the living beings behind an enormous number. For example, we may feel real sadness over the image of one sea turtle caught in a plastic six-pack ring when it pops up on our feed, but then feel numb when learning that plastic debris kills over 100,000 marine mammals each year.
“Compassion fade” is a similar phenomenon where a person’s empathy and compassion decrease as the numbers of living things affected by a crisis increases. Again, this is a protective coping response where a person’s feelings of compassion and empathy are overwhelmed by the scope and volume of suffering.
Denial is the most extreme type of avoidance coping. It has been studied and written about since Freud. Denial is an unconscious strategy to fend off threatening information. Think of those who say, “It’s freezing outside -what happened to global warming?” Anna Freud suggested denial was most often used by the those who were psychologically immature because it showed that a person could not learn from nor cope with reality. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross used denial as the first of the five stages of grief experienced by the dying. When hearing they had a terminal disease, most everyone first says, “No, it can’t be true.” When we are most afraid, denial can be our armor, our bazooka, our atom bomb to protect us from and obliterate the reality that threatens us. (Understanding denial and related defense mechanisms in response to climate change is a larger topic that deserves a separate article).
Finally, and importantly, when it comes to grief, ruminating or obsessively thinking about loss is an avoidant coping strategy. People who get stuck in their thoughts avoid the reality of loss leading to higher levels of distress. Moving to acceptance and accessing approach coping strategies improves wellbeing.
This is also true for climate grief. If you are stuck in your head thinking about all the death and destruction in the world because of climate change, recognize this as an avoidant strategy that can lead to depression and consequently little ability for you to problem solve and act.
So, what do we do? How do we remain present to the threats we face from climate change without endangering our mental health? Taking some lessons from the research about approach and avoidance coping, here are some ideas:
Face your feelings around climate change. Explore them and process them.
Recognize when you’re feeling psychologically strong and use these times for education and meaningful action.
Acknowledge when you are feeling overwhelmed and depleted. Give yourself permission to turn off and take care of yourself, without numbing yourself if possible. Create boundaries, focus on the moment, process your feelings (through journaling, therapy, art, social connection, etc.) appreciate and be grateful, be kind to yourself and others, find hope, ponder meaning and purpose, listen to yourself.
If you are in self-care mode, and you feel anxiety or distress start to creep back in, consider that some form of action may help decrease your negative feelings and help you feel more hopeful and in control.
Remember that everyone has different capacities, and different speeds of cycling through approach and avoidance coping. Avoid comparing yourself to others.
If you find you are stuck in your head ruminating and grieving, seek professional help.
Do you want to learn more about coping styles and measure your coping strategies? Here’s a helpful link.